Divorce represents a quantum shift in family dynamics that impacts everyone touched by the devastation that comes with life-changing events. Upon finalization of the marital dissolution, loved ones begin their journey on a new path while children adapt to a newer normal.
While divorce can be challenging to process for kids, divorced parents in constant conflict, post-marital dissolution can impede the healing and create more significant trauma. While not at the top of the list of concerns, post-divorce holidays can present challenges in maintaining peace and tranquility for the sake of their children.
Co-existing for the sake of children
Ex-spouses forced to be in the same room should see them exhibiting model behavior. Yet, ex-couples who choose to fight without resolving what they are battling overdo more harm than good. The goal should be a peaceful existence with minimal rancor.
Fighting between parents far too often has more to do with “wants” and less to do with their children’s needs and best interests. As they continue to deal with issues left unresolved, the children continue to suffer emotional trauma that carries its own bumps and bruises.
More dysfunctional dynamics see children in the unlikely and uncomfortable role of keeping the peace between warring parents. That continuing dysfunction plants seeds that grow and can remain for a lifetime. The resulting effects can take many forms. The outcome is low self-esteem, lack of trust, and challenges in fostering and maintaining relationships. More severe cases see significant substance abuse issues.
Any level of post-divorce tranquility requires parents to set aside their differences and unite over a shared goal, the best interests of their children that should never fluctuate and always be “top of mind.”
