What to do when you’re having trouble letting go of your marriage

Your ex made you unhappy. They were not a committed partner or parent. They emphasized their career over your family and marriage. You seldom felt truly cherished and respected. You thought you did the majority of the heavy lifting in the relationship, which wasn’t fair. The two of you quarreled frequently about money, intimacy and parenting. The tension was never-ending.

That’s why you walked away from the marriage. With these unresolvable differences, the end of the road for you as a couple was seemingly a sure thing. 

Now that you’ve committed to divorce, why do you still dwell upon your ex so much? You wish you could just bury these persistent memories to banish them forever and restore your peace of mind. 

It isn’t always easy to move on

You realize you need to close the door on what was. In spite of the troubled relationship you had, however, you still can’t forget it. It blocks you from wholeheartedly addressing your life and future.

Sometimes, a clean break does not happen. A divorce does not magically end all the feelings you have for that person, both good and bad. When a marriage concludes in divorce, you have to permit yourself to take stock of that major loss and fully absorb it. It takes a while to adjust. How much time is necessary differs for each person.

Anger, depression and denial can flood in as you deal with your emotions. Remind yourself that this is typical in these circumstances.

Ways to begin to bounce back

People in this situation often utilize meditation, exercise or journaling. Stick with what helps you most. Make sure that while the process of your divorce continues, you get reliable guidance on what your subsequent moves should be. You want to be prepared legally, financially and emotionally to successfully start a new phase of your life.

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