For the last few months, you and your spouse have been talking about getting a divorce. You finally reached the point where you’re sure that it’s going to happen. The next step is to tell your children.
If you want to make this go as smoothly as possible, what should you do? Here are a few tips to keep in mind.
Don’t blame anyone
For one thing, don’t blame your spouse for the divorce—at least not in front of the kids. Additionally, emphasize to the children that they are also not to blame. Remember that children sometimes feel as if they’re at fault, even when they clearly aren’t, so reassurance can be helpful.
Talk to them together
There are two sides to this. First, you and your spouse should talk to the children together and attempt to present a united front. On top of that, you want to talk to all of your children at once. Don’t risk having them find out about the divorce from someone else.
Stress love and stability
If there’s anything you should emphasize to the children, it’s that you love them and you and your ex will still care for them as parents, even after your marriage ends. If possible, try to keep routines consistent and create as much stability as possible at the same time.
Allow it to be an ongoing conversation
Finally, remember that it may take more than one conversation where you break the news to all of your children. They may still have many questions, and it can often be good to sit down for one-on-one conversations.
These tips can help you get the process underway, and then you need to be sure you understand all of your legal rights when it comes to child custody arrangements.
