Divorcing a manipulative spouse is unlikely to be the end of all your problems if you share children. Those who exhibit this behavior will likely continue to do so even when you are exes.
Unlike childless couples, you can’t simply escape them, as if your children are minors, you’ll need to raise them together to some degree in most circumstances.
1. It’s probably not a coincidence
Your ex is late for the handover again. Maybe the traffic was bad, as they say – again. But if you know them to be perfectly capable of turning up to work or a rendezvous with others on time, then you need to consider whether their repeated lateness is an attempt to wind you up.
Maybe it’s not lateness they use to try and get at you, but forgetting to pack something your child needs, so you always have to scramble around to get them to school fully kitted out on the first day back with you. Or maybe it’s something else. If something happens once, it could well be an accident, but if little things continue to repeat, they may be intentional.
2. They are still your child’s other parent
Remember that, however challenging you may find your co-parent, they are still your child’s parent. Even if they do not show you respect, you should not disrespect them because that is likely what they are trying to get you to do, to make you look back in front of your kids or others. Take the high ground — your children will thank you for it, even if they can’t express that right now.
3. You do have options
If your ex continues to make co-parenting difficult, you may be able to ask a court to intervene. You can also set rules in your parenting plan that limit their ability to disrupt your tranquility.
When dealing with a manipulative co-parent, experienced legal guidance is essential. That’s the best way to protect your peace and your parent-child relationship.
