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How do you act friendly toward your ex, especially if you have kids?

It’s tough not to be angry toward your former spouse after you get divorced, especially if your ex was cheating on you. Recalling the romantic days of your courtship may be impossible now that your marital relationship has turned toxic and your dreams have all come crashing down.

Despite the ill will you may feel toward your former partner, however, it might be necessary to remain on speaking terms at the very least. There is a good reason for that.

If you have children, you will still need to communicate about important issues like their education, health and emotional well-being. As tempting as it might be to give the other person the deep freeze when you do have to deal with each other, it’s not a wise or realistic option.

So how do you put aside your resentment toward your ex so you can talk to each other occasionally without it becoming a nasty verbal wrangle? Experts offer some advice that can help to ease the tension.

Tips to help you be civil to your ex

  • Think about giving mediation a try. An objective third party, particularly a trained professional, may be able to help you get past your bitterness.
  • Remember that the pressure of being married is off now. When you both are no longer arguing every day and living under the same roof, you may not feel so hostile.
  • Put your children and their needs first. That might soften your feelings toward your ex quite a bit.
  • Work toward healing rather than continuing to nurse a grudge toward your ex. The energy you save can be invested in repairing your life and caring for your kids.

Although you may feel stuck in post-divorce blues or confusion, there is legal help and emotional hope for you in Massachusetts. Even though you and your ex are not marital partners anymore, you may eventually find, to your surprise, that you can succeed in getting along.