If you are confident that you want to get a divorce, have you considered where your spouse stands on the issue? In some cases, people know that their spouse also wants a divorce — even if no one has given voice to the idea yet. They reasonably anticipate their spouses to be supportive of the idea because they’re also unhappy in the marriage.
In other cases, though, one person wants a divorce and their spouse has no idea that anything is wrong. They think the marriage is fine, and they’re going to feel blindsided by a divorce filing. Knowing where your spouse stands can change how you break the news.
If your spouse is unaware that you’re unhappy, breaking the news can be rough
Experts do note that blindsiding your spouse with a divorce request can make the process more challenging.
The problem is that you’re not at the same place mentally or emotionally as your spouse. On your end, you already feel comfortable with the idea of a divorce. You’re eager to begin the process. You may even feel excited about the end result and your new life. You want to take action.
Your spouse, though, still just needs time to react. They may feel hurt, angry, frustrated or confused. They may have trouble thinking about the legal process or the future. They’re just trying to catch up with you and get to a place where they have accepted that the marriage is over.
This takes time, and you may need to let your spouse process the news for a bit before they’re really ready to start working together toward ending the marriage.
Exploring your options for divorce
Of course, you can still file for divorce, no matter how your spouse feels about it. Just take the time to consider your legal options and think about how you can make the process go smoothly. An attorney can help you learn more.